This site is dedicated to an experiment. What would happen to me if I decide to reveal my mind in public for 80 days as I attempt to create a new reality? Can a moment of transformation be accelerated if nothing remains hidden and all is explored? Below are two blogs totaling an 80-day journey into my greatest fears and insecurities, visions and dreams while I strip away old notions of who I thought I was and allow for a new me to be rediscovered. Please share your thoughts on these two blogs in the comments section. If you have a similar story to tell where you had a moment when everything changed and you became clear of your life’s purpose, please email me at supermaneffect@gmail.com. I would be honored to read your story and with your permission, include it in my book, The Superman Effect: Stories of the Moment When Everything Changes.
Superman Effect- Part I
First entry: http://supermaneffect.blogspot.com/2009/10/countdown-to-superman-effect-60-days.html
Superman Effect- Part II
First Entry: http://supermaneffect2.blogspot.com/2010/01/30-days-to-new-life-monday.html
About the Author:
Dennis was born in Lajas, Puerto Rico and grew up in the Bronx, New York. At the age of 16, Dennis moved to Boston, MA to attend Boston University's College of Fine Arts, earning a degree in Acting. After graduating in 1993, Dennis moved to Kansas City, MO and completed a Master of Fine Arts degree in Acting and Directing. The decision to make security his most cherished value took over and he left acting completely to learn how to use a computer and get an office job. He spent the past 12 years in sales, management and administration, earning an MBA in International Business. Simultaneously, his existence as a successful businessman was rivaled by a second life. That of a man who was in search of transformation, spending hours in prayer and meditation, experiencing extra sensory mystical and healing experiences, spiritual communication with the dying amidst a profound inner struggle to let go of resistance. On May 17, 2009, Dennis made the decision to embark on a career as a transformational author and speaker. In 2010, Dennis started a company called Metatransformations Consulting, Inc. in which he coaches individuals and groups on the principles of manifestation and dream fulfillment through the use of creative art techniques, intuitive healing and visualization. Dennis lives with his wife and two children in Denver, Colorado.
Contact Information:
Dennis Rodriguez
Writer
Intuitive Life Coach
303-585-1232
Supermaneffect@gmail.com
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Countdown to The Superman Effect- 0 days
As Yul Brinner would say in the movie The Ten Commandments: “So it shall be written, so it shall be done!”
I did it! I resigned my position at the university exactly like I wrote I would. First, I told my boss, and then at 9am I told all eight directors. Immediately following our director’s meeting, I got my assistant directors together and let them know then I got all 20 enrollment counselors and announced my departure to them. I then contacted faculty and staff members throughout the university.
I woke up this morning feeling a sense of peace and liberation. My friends in spirit were with me all night. I did not mind. They arrived to support my life changing move. As I drank my morning latte freshly prepared by yours truly, I thought about this 49 day journey. I thought about the first day when I sat down to create the blog site in less than 5 minutes. The name “The Superman Effect” had already been conceived and not much else. I had no idea what I would write about but sat and started typing. I wrote about wanting to reveal my true nature through the telling of my true story. Of a dream that was branded in my heart and of a treasure that I had found on May 17, 2009. Most importantly, I wrote about being more than what I had become and my quest for the moment when everything would change.
I did not know then what I know now: My quest would take me to the heart of all my fears and insecurities revealing perceptions that needed to be discarded if I was to truly see the real me. My quest would also take me to the recognition that there is no such thing as an ordinary life. There is no life purpose to discover outside of the inherent richness of our every day existence. I do not have to write a book or travel all over the world to impact people’s lives. I do not have to do anything other than what I am doing at this moment.
I did not plan what I would say to my co-workers. I figured shooting from the hip has worked well with this blog, I might as well give it a try today. Every reaction I witnessed today from my co-workers was absolutely beautiful and perfect. I saw confusion, tears, smiles, disappointment, love, cheers, curiosity, fear and hope. The hardest thing I did today was telling my enrollment counselors. I have so much respect and admiration for what they go through and I relate more to them as individuals then I do the management team. I started as and will always be one of them. I will miss them more than they will ever know and thank them for teaching me so much. They are the true light of the university.
Before I close my last blog entry, I want to tell you what I want:
I want to see fear eradicated from this planet.
From today:
“You know D, I have always looked up to you. I have always felt drawn to your spirit of hope and willingness to be vulnerable. Your understanding of my insecurities and fears always made me feel like you knew exactly how I felt.
Words can’t express how much I value you. You changed my life by simply waiting for me to fly home. I never, ever, believed I was smart enough to go to grad school and fulfill my lifelong dream. Not only am I smart enough, I’m actually good at it. Thank you. You will have a part in every [counseling]client I help.
I already feel a void in my heart knowing you won’t be here. I feel as if a part of me is leaving too. You infused more into this department than numbers and spreadsheets. Far more than enrollments and goals. Your spirit was here. Your unconditional acceptance and family values will be sorely missed. You are the light of the department.
My sadness is selfish. I am truly and profoundly happy for you. I am in awe of your bravery and will be honored to read your many books. You know Wayne is my boyfriend so please get his autograph for me. Please stay in my life.
“Dennis,
wow! wOW! WOW! Do you feel like you’re flying?
"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided."- Tony Robbins
Action you have taken!
"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls."
Joseph Campbell
Your Berlin Wall is down, now you can soar on to your bliss!
Congratulations! “
“Dennis,
Just heard the news! I’m so happy for you and very sad for us. I knew we couldn’t keep you forever. Just want to wish you all the luck in the world, I know you’ll do a outstanding job just like you did for us. I feel so fortunate to have been able to work with you. Wishing you and your family a Very Merry Christmas!”
Reality and Illusion- Poem from the The Nag Hammadi Scriptures
What am I telling you?
All at once the living die.
How do they live in illusion?
The rich become poor,
Kings are overthrown,
Everything changes.
The world is illusion.
Let me not speak so negatively.
The resurrection is different.
It is real,
It stands firm.
It is revelation of what is,
A transformation of things,
A transition into newness.
Incorruptibility flows over corruption,
Light flows over darkness, swallowing it,
Fullness fills what it lacks.
These are symbols and images of resurrection.
This brings goodness.
Coming January 11, 2010!
The Superman Effect- Part II
Link to "30 Days To A New Life"
First Entry: http://supermaneffect2.blogspot.com/2010/01/30-days-to-new-life-monday.html
I did it! I resigned my position at the university exactly like I wrote I would. First, I told my boss, and then at 9am I told all eight directors. Immediately following our director’s meeting, I got my assistant directors together and let them know then I got all 20 enrollment counselors and announced my departure to them. I then contacted faculty and staff members throughout the university.
I woke up this morning feeling a sense of peace and liberation. My friends in spirit were with me all night. I did not mind. They arrived to support my life changing move. As I drank my morning latte freshly prepared by yours truly, I thought about this 49 day journey. I thought about the first day when I sat down to create the blog site in less than 5 minutes. The name “The Superman Effect” had already been conceived and not much else. I had no idea what I would write about but sat and started typing. I wrote about wanting to reveal my true nature through the telling of my true story. Of a dream that was branded in my heart and of a treasure that I had found on May 17, 2009. Most importantly, I wrote about being more than what I had become and my quest for the moment when everything would change.
I did not know then what I know now: My quest would take me to the heart of all my fears and insecurities revealing perceptions that needed to be discarded if I was to truly see the real me. My quest would also take me to the recognition that there is no such thing as an ordinary life. There is no life purpose to discover outside of the inherent richness of our every day existence. I do not have to write a book or travel all over the world to impact people’s lives. I do not have to do anything other than what I am doing at this moment.
I did not plan what I would say to my co-workers. I figured shooting from the hip has worked well with this blog, I might as well give it a try today. Every reaction I witnessed today from my co-workers was absolutely beautiful and perfect. I saw confusion, tears, smiles, disappointment, love, cheers, curiosity, fear and hope. The hardest thing I did today was telling my enrollment counselors. I have so much respect and admiration for what they go through and I relate more to them as individuals then I do the management team. I started as and will always be one of them. I will miss them more than they will ever know and thank them for teaching me so much. They are the true light of the university.
Before I close my last blog entry, I want to tell you what I want:
I want to see fear eradicated from this planet.
From today:
“You know D, I have always looked up to you. I have always felt drawn to your spirit of hope and willingness to be vulnerable. Your understanding of my insecurities and fears always made me feel like you knew exactly how I felt.
Words can’t express how much I value you. You changed my life by simply waiting for me to fly home. I never, ever, believed I was smart enough to go to grad school and fulfill my lifelong dream. Not only am I smart enough, I’m actually good at it. Thank you. You will have a part in every [counseling]client I help.
I already feel a void in my heart knowing you won’t be here. I feel as if a part of me is leaving too. You infused more into this department than numbers and spreadsheets. Far more than enrollments and goals. Your spirit was here. Your unconditional acceptance and family values will be sorely missed. You are the light of the department.
My sadness is selfish. I am truly and profoundly happy for you. I am in awe of your bravery and will be honored to read your many books. You know Wayne is my boyfriend so please get his autograph for me. Please stay in my life.
“Dennis,
wow! wOW! WOW! Do you feel like you’re flying?
"A real decision is measured by the fact that you've taken a new action. If there's no action, you haven't truly decided."- Tony Robbins
Action you have taken!
"Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls."
Joseph Campbell
Your Berlin Wall is down, now you can soar on to your bliss!
Congratulations! “
“Dennis,
Just heard the news! I’m so happy for you and very sad for us. I knew we couldn’t keep you forever. Just want to wish you all the luck in the world, I know you’ll do a outstanding job just like you did for us. I feel so fortunate to have been able to work with you. Wishing you and your family a Very Merry Christmas!”
Reality and Illusion- Poem from the The Nag Hammadi Scriptures
What am I telling you?
All at once the living die.
How do they live in illusion?
The rich become poor,
Kings are overthrown,
Everything changes.
The world is illusion.
Let me not speak so negatively.
The resurrection is different.
It is real,
It stands firm.
It is revelation of what is,
A transformation of things,
A transition into newness.
Incorruptibility flows over corruption,
Light flows over darkness, swallowing it,
Fullness fills what it lacks.
These are symbols and images of resurrection.
This brings goodness.
Coming January 11, 2010!
The Superman Effect- Part II
Link to "30 Days To A New Life"
First Entry: http://supermaneffect2.blogspot.com/2010/01/30-days-to-new-life-monday.html
Monday, December 7, 2009
Countdown to The Superman Effect- 1 day
You read it right. Not 13 days but 1 day till resignation day. I have heard the phrase “God’s delays are not God’s denials” when referencing our wishes not coming to pass fast enough.
What about when God decides to accelerate the moment when everything changes in our lives? I no longer know what I am waiting for. Nothing is keeping me from resigning and after all this time together, something tells me to just act. Now. Take the leap of faith and keep flying.
I am going to do it. I will resign my management position tomorrow December 8, 2009 and begin my writing career. It will all work out. At this moment I have a sense of clarity that I have not felt before. The money will come from where it is at. The help will arrive at just the right time. The universe is conspiring to help make my wishes come true. I will have the freedom to write anywhere. I will travel to Italy with my family. I will continue to believe that anything is possible and that fear has no place in a life full of hope and promise. I will continue my healing work and connecting with spirit. I will dream of a time when all of us act in spite of doubts, when all of us realize the gift of the present moment.
This is the treasure I have found: The moment is always here. There is nothing to get to or to wait for. It is right here for the taking. The greatest treasure in the world is your very existence. Choose to believe this fact and it will transform your life.
Resigning tomorrow will be the hardest thing I have ever done. First, I will tell my boss, and then at 9am I will tell all eight directors. Immediately following our director’s meeting, I will be get my assistant directors and let them know and then I will get all 20 enrollment counselors and announce my departure to them. I will then be contacting faculty and staff members throughout the university. I’m working on health insurance coverage. Working on supplementing my income with international sales opportunities. Working on meeting Ram Dass and Wayne Dyer! None of this really matters. The moment is here and a new life begins.
I have not decided if I should continue this blog after tomorrow or wait and have you read what happened after resignation day in my first book. Either way, I would like to hear from all of you. Please comment on this blog and let me read your mind!
What about when God decides to accelerate the moment when everything changes in our lives? I no longer know what I am waiting for. Nothing is keeping me from resigning and after all this time together, something tells me to just act. Now. Take the leap of faith and keep flying.
I am going to do it. I will resign my management position tomorrow December 8, 2009 and begin my writing career. It will all work out. At this moment I have a sense of clarity that I have not felt before. The money will come from where it is at. The help will arrive at just the right time. The universe is conspiring to help make my wishes come true. I will have the freedom to write anywhere. I will travel to Italy with my family. I will continue to believe that anything is possible and that fear has no place in a life full of hope and promise. I will continue my healing work and connecting with spirit. I will dream of a time when all of us act in spite of doubts, when all of us realize the gift of the present moment.
This is the treasure I have found: The moment is always here. There is nothing to get to or to wait for. It is right here for the taking. The greatest treasure in the world is your very existence. Choose to believe this fact and it will transform your life.
Resigning tomorrow will be the hardest thing I have ever done. First, I will tell my boss, and then at 9am I will tell all eight directors. Immediately following our director’s meeting, I will be get my assistant directors and let them know and then I will get all 20 enrollment counselors and announce my departure to them. I will then be contacting faculty and staff members throughout the university. I’m working on health insurance coverage. Working on supplementing my income with international sales opportunities. Working on meeting Ram Dass and Wayne Dyer! None of this really matters. The moment is here and a new life begins.
I have not decided if I should continue this blog after tomorrow or wait and have you read what happened after resignation day in my first book. Either way, I would like to hear from all of you. Please comment on this blog and let me read your mind!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Countdown to The Superman Effect- 14 days
As expected, today is a better day. I slept in till 8:45am which is a real treat with two children. Thank you to my wife. They still waited for daddy’s pancakes. "Sorry for the delay." I enjoyed making them and I dare say, they were well worth the wait. Sometimes all we need is extra sleep to clear out the junk in our minds. There is so much clearing happening while we dream, even if we do not remember when we awake. When we do remember our dreams, there is a profound sense that we need to pay attention to what they are trying to tell us. Two recent dreams come to mind: One is with my father long deceased and one is with my buddy Wayne Dyer.
Before I go into the dreams, I realize that I have never explained the reason why I do not reference anyone I know by name. (I don’t know my buddy Wayne, yet!) I do this intentionally to give a dream quality to my writing. It is said that we are every character in our dreams. Each character is an aspect of ourselves that when integrated, make up our whole. The way I view everyone I come in contact with, is a direct reflection of how I view myself. When someone comes across as arrogant and pushes my buttons, it is my own arrogance that I should look at. When I find another person inspiring, there is a resonance with my own inspiring nature. Their names are not relevant. It is their qualities and the principles they represent that teach us about ourselves. So if I know you, I have not used your personal name. If I don’t know you (i.e. Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, Ram Dass, Oprah Winfrey), I’d like to someday! Thanks for teaching me so much.
Now back to my dreams. In one dream I had about 5 months ago, my wife and I were looking at houses and we came across the perfect one. Typically I leave all aesthetic appreciation and decisions to my wife and am happy if she is happy but this time, even I loved the look and feel. It had a spacious kitchen with so much natural light coming from the windows. There was a den with a wall to wall book shelf that required a ladder to get to all the books. My dream! Everything seemed so pristine and welcoming. It was to be our new home. We left the house thinking, “this is the one!” As we were walking out of the house, I noticed three women dressed in black standing next to the house looking at me. I turned around and they continued to stare and whisper to themselves. Finally, I decided to confront them and say: “is there something you’d like to ask me?” (I’m a direct New Yorker even in my dreams!) The youngest of the three began to speak: “We have a message from Chany” That is my deceased father’s nickname. It comes from his middle name Luciano (like Lucky the gangster). Yes, I broke my own rule. I figure since I am already writing about a dream, I might as well use his nickname. It’s all weird.
Before I could say anything, I had a sense someone was standing right behind me, and it was not my wife. It was a 25 year old version of my dad. I immediately noticed that his appearance reminded me of pictures I had seen when my dad was in the Job Corp. I was aware that my dad was the same age as the time I came into this world. He motioned me to join him on a bench that just appeared. We did not speak. We just looked at each other and I felt all tension leave my body. It was a time to rest and to bask in the knowledge that he was with me as I construct my new life. I felt peaceful, as if I was transported to heaven. I did ask him one question.“How do you feel about mom?” It was an odd way to pose the question but that is what I asked. He then burst out into laughter. “Are you kidding me? She’s the one that took a pillow to my head and put me out of my misery!”
I knew what he meant so please take a moment if your mouth is wide open and let me explain. I did not nor do I think that my mom took the law into her own hands like the assassin to Hyman Roth in Godfather II. That is not what he meant. What he meant and what I immediately knew was that in spirit she had helped him transition from this life to the next. Through prayers and just her mere presence, she played a similar role in his life as I have in the lives of those I have written about. I did find his words hilarious and it snapped me out of my dream with laughter of my own. The laughter was outlasted by feeling joy that my father had visited me and that he is with me as much now as he was 15 years ago.
The second dream was about two months ago and it was one of those dreams where you spend what seems to be hours hanging out with someone. This someone was Wayne Dyer and the place was The Tattered Cover Bookstore in Denver. These mere facts are full of symbolism: Books that I read, books that we’ll write, with a teacher that I respect. He was showing me around the bookstore pointing out certain topics that interested him: Science, religion, philosophy, psychology, art and literature.
“You know Dennis, those that wrote these books were not concerned about whether they were having original thoughts. They were writing because someone out there would benefit from reading their books at just the right time. Don’t get caught up into thinking you must create everything from scratch. Your life experience is what you have to work from and that includes books you’ve read and lectures you’ve attended. Just write and get out of the way. I’ve got to go. You should visit me at my home.”
“Where do you live?” I asked
“I live in Interlocken.”
I woke up with a huge smile on my face. I hung out with Wayne Dyer! Well, I’ve confirmed that he does not have a home in Interlocken, Colorado. The connection I made however was very helpful. Interlocken is where the counseling labs are located at the university I work at. I realized then that I needed to study my mind a bit more closely. After I started this blog, I began an exploration of the way I think as part of discovering how to manifest my dreams. If you have read past entries then you know I have not held back in revealing my mind.
Yet another Superman movie reference: Just like Lois Lane mused while flying with Superman above the clouds: “Can you read my mind?” I have asked you to do the same. This is my intent, for you to read my mind as I progress to Resignation Day in the hopes that it will inspire you to break through the fetters of fear and follow your dreams. Two weeks to go.
Before I go into the dreams, I realize that I have never explained the reason why I do not reference anyone I know by name. (I don’t know my buddy Wayne, yet!) I do this intentionally to give a dream quality to my writing. It is said that we are every character in our dreams. Each character is an aspect of ourselves that when integrated, make up our whole. The way I view everyone I come in contact with, is a direct reflection of how I view myself. When someone comes across as arrogant and pushes my buttons, it is my own arrogance that I should look at. When I find another person inspiring, there is a resonance with my own inspiring nature. Their names are not relevant. It is their qualities and the principles they represent that teach us about ourselves. So if I know you, I have not used your personal name. If I don’t know you (i.e. Wayne Dyer, Tony Robbins, Ram Dass, Oprah Winfrey), I’d like to someday! Thanks for teaching me so much.
Now back to my dreams. In one dream I had about 5 months ago, my wife and I were looking at houses and we came across the perfect one. Typically I leave all aesthetic appreciation and decisions to my wife and am happy if she is happy but this time, even I loved the look and feel. It had a spacious kitchen with so much natural light coming from the windows. There was a den with a wall to wall book shelf that required a ladder to get to all the books. My dream! Everything seemed so pristine and welcoming. It was to be our new home. We left the house thinking, “this is the one!” As we were walking out of the house, I noticed three women dressed in black standing next to the house looking at me. I turned around and they continued to stare and whisper to themselves. Finally, I decided to confront them and say: “is there something you’d like to ask me?” (I’m a direct New Yorker even in my dreams!) The youngest of the three began to speak: “We have a message from Chany” That is my deceased father’s nickname. It comes from his middle name Luciano (like Lucky the gangster). Yes, I broke my own rule. I figure since I am already writing about a dream, I might as well use his nickname. It’s all weird.
Before I could say anything, I had a sense someone was standing right behind me, and it was not my wife. It was a 25 year old version of my dad. I immediately noticed that his appearance reminded me of pictures I had seen when my dad was in the Job Corp. I was aware that my dad was the same age as the time I came into this world. He motioned me to join him on a bench that just appeared. We did not speak. We just looked at each other and I felt all tension leave my body. It was a time to rest and to bask in the knowledge that he was with me as I construct my new life. I felt peaceful, as if I was transported to heaven. I did ask him one question.“How do you feel about mom?” It was an odd way to pose the question but that is what I asked. He then burst out into laughter. “Are you kidding me? She’s the one that took a pillow to my head and put me out of my misery!”
I knew what he meant so please take a moment if your mouth is wide open and let me explain. I did not nor do I think that my mom took the law into her own hands like the assassin to Hyman Roth in Godfather II. That is not what he meant. What he meant and what I immediately knew was that in spirit she had helped him transition from this life to the next. Through prayers and just her mere presence, she played a similar role in his life as I have in the lives of those I have written about. I did find his words hilarious and it snapped me out of my dream with laughter of my own. The laughter was outlasted by feeling joy that my father had visited me and that he is with me as much now as he was 15 years ago.
The second dream was about two months ago and it was one of those dreams where you spend what seems to be hours hanging out with someone. This someone was Wayne Dyer and the place was The Tattered Cover Bookstore in Denver. These mere facts are full of symbolism: Books that I read, books that we’ll write, with a teacher that I respect. He was showing me around the bookstore pointing out certain topics that interested him: Science, religion, philosophy, psychology, art and literature.
“You know Dennis, those that wrote these books were not concerned about whether they were having original thoughts. They were writing because someone out there would benefit from reading their books at just the right time. Don’t get caught up into thinking you must create everything from scratch. Your life experience is what you have to work from and that includes books you’ve read and lectures you’ve attended. Just write and get out of the way. I’ve got to go. You should visit me at my home.”
“Where do you live?” I asked
“I live in Interlocken.”
I woke up with a huge smile on my face. I hung out with Wayne Dyer! Well, I’ve confirmed that he does not have a home in Interlocken, Colorado. The connection I made however was very helpful. Interlocken is where the counseling labs are located at the university I work at. I realized then that I needed to study my mind a bit more closely. After I started this blog, I began an exploration of the way I think as part of discovering how to manifest my dreams. If you have read past entries then you know I have not held back in revealing my mind.
Yet another Superman movie reference: Just like Lois Lane mused while flying with Superman above the clouds: “Can you read my mind?” I have asked you to do the same. This is my intent, for you to read my mind as I progress to Resignation Day in the hopes that it will inspire you to break through the fetters of fear and follow your dreams. Two weeks to go.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Countdown to The Superman Effect- 15 days
When slowing down your thoughts are not enough to appreciate what’s important, then try stopping them all together.
There are some days when it’s just not productive to analyze your life. You don’t see the glass as having anything in it and everything seems like a struggle. All of your fears rush to the surface like a pot of boiling oatmeal overflowing and spilling everywhere. The best choice is to run and turn off the heat. Today was one of those days.
I find that it is has little to do with my reality and it simply has to do with the physiological or psychological state I am in. Sometimes it’s because I had too much sugar the night before or not enough sleep. Sometimes it’s because I am not hydrated enough or have taken too much of an herbal supplement and am detoxifying too fast.
We make the mistake of thinking that these negative thoughts are a real reflection of what is going on. They are far from real and I find the best thing to do is get off the train. I tell myself: I am not going to entertain these thoughts and add fuel. The snowball effect can lead to actions you normally would not take in support of this negative thinking.
If I followed all my thoughts today, I would call this whole thing off and stay at the university. So I have a choice: I could believe these irrational thoughts disguised as logical conclusions or I could call a time out and walk away from them. I choose to walk away, to turn off the burners, to get off the thinking train.
I have a friend who wants me to focus primarily on the positive in this blog. I told him that my intent is to show everyone “a process” for dream manifestation. This includes the good, the bad and the ugly. I could sit here and tell you that all you have to do is believe, receive and achieve but I don’t think that is what you experience as enough when you face your fears and dare to dream. This is not an easy process and if I am going to be as honest and truthful as I could be, I have to also share the dark days with you all.
Tomorrow will be a better day, I believe.
There are some days when it’s just not productive to analyze your life. You don’t see the glass as having anything in it and everything seems like a struggle. All of your fears rush to the surface like a pot of boiling oatmeal overflowing and spilling everywhere. The best choice is to run and turn off the heat. Today was one of those days.
I find that it is has little to do with my reality and it simply has to do with the physiological or psychological state I am in. Sometimes it’s because I had too much sugar the night before or not enough sleep. Sometimes it’s because I am not hydrated enough or have taken too much of an herbal supplement and am detoxifying too fast.
We make the mistake of thinking that these negative thoughts are a real reflection of what is going on. They are far from real and I find the best thing to do is get off the train. I tell myself: I am not going to entertain these thoughts and add fuel. The snowball effect can lead to actions you normally would not take in support of this negative thinking.
If I followed all my thoughts today, I would call this whole thing off and stay at the university. So I have a choice: I could believe these irrational thoughts disguised as logical conclusions or I could call a time out and walk away from them. I choose to walk away, to turn off the burners, to get off the thinking train.
I have a friend who wants me to focus primarily on the positive in this blog. I told him that my intent is to show everyone “a process” for dream manifestation. This includes the good, the bad and the ugly. I could sit here and tell you that all you have to do is believe, receive and achieve but I don’t think that is what you experience as enough when you face your fears and dare to dream. This is not an easy process and if I am going to be as honest and truthful as I could be, I have to also share the dark days with you all.
Tomorrow will be a better day, I believe.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Countdown to The Superman Effect- 16 days
I needed a day off and I took it. My wife and I got overnight babysitting and decided to go up to Boulder and meet up with some friends and spent the night just the two of us at a "fancy" hotel. I did check my work email a bit too much in the morning. I did it while she went through every lane at Target looking for Christmas gifts. I couldn’t help myself. I still feel guilty when I leave work knowing others have to pick up the slack while I’m gone. Or is it that I must be in the know? I find myself thinking way too much about work issues. I don’t yet know how to disengage from a job that I have held for so many years. It will be unsettling to watch others make the decisions I would normally make but it is best for everyone that I learn to let go. It is so difficult for me to slow down at work and it all starts with the speed of my thinking.
Most of my decisions are made in an impulsive fashion, mainly because I have made most of my decisions before. When you work at a job that is cyclical (having a start term every 5-8 weeks), you tend to come across similar challenges and thus have a reference point in making decisions. I don’t waste any time and need to keep on moving. The drawback is that this quick thinking and rhythm can cause tension in the body, energy depletion as well as stifle creativity and freedom. Learning to slow down my thinking is essential to cultivating intuition.
When I was in graduate school studying to be an actor, I was teaching Oral Interpretation of Literature. I had a student with a pronounced stuttering problem and I was unsure whether I could help him. The assignment was William Shakespeare’s Sonnet #18:
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
It was quickly apparent that this student was not able to get through the first sentence without stuttering and was getting frustrated in front of the class. I have no experience in Speech Pathology so consciously I had no idea how to help him. I decided to listen to my intuition and try some "out of the box" coaching. Something told me that his speech impediment was stemming from the speed of his thinking and a connection to his breathing pattern.
“I’m going to ask you to connect each word with an image in your mind. Don’t tell me what the image is just let it come to mind and sit with it. Let’s take the word “shall”. When you have the image clear in your mind, take a deep breath and exhale saying “shall”. He did. “Now let’s do the same with the word “I”. “What does “I” mean to you? Now take a deep breath and exhale saying “I”. No problem. We went on in similar fashion with every word in the first sentence. “Shall”, “I”, ‘Compare”, “thee”, “to”, “a”, “summer's”, “day”. Then we stringed the sentence together in one breath. No stuttering! The class applauded. His eyes lit up.
“We are going to spend the rest of the class slowing down your thinking and breathing, drinking in each word with the meaning that resonates with you. With your experiences.” At the end of the class, he went through the whole Sonnet without stuttering once. He had never done that before and it brought tears to this 18 year-old’s eyes.
Being conscious of our breathing patterns as we move from thought to thought is a great way to allow room for intuition to enter. The simple act of breath awareness slows our thinking and it is in the space between thoughts that higher wisdom reveals itself to us. Suddenly a thought appears that just “feels” right. It has no tension or fear associated with it. It comes from a deeper place. Some have called this place “the gut” and you possess a sense of certainty that there is truth behind the thought.
I have found that asking myself throughout the day “how am I breathing?” automatically changes my rhythm. It is the same principle found in Quantum Physics: The act of observation, changes that which is being observed.
You don’t have to force a slowing down process, just become aware of the breath. Your body knows what to do next.
If you cannot think of one magic moment that happened today in which you connected with another human being, then you might be breathing, moving and thinking too fast. Not to worry though. You can always slow down before going to bed or when taking the dog for a walk. Noticing after the fact is the next best thing. The moment is waiting for us to catch up to it or we just need to slow down enough to let it catch up with us.
I’d like to end with a great story about the moment everything changed for Helen Keller who was deaf and blind. Can you notice how much she slows down her thinking and makes room for the experience of happiness?
“Miss Fuller’s method was this: she passed my hand lightly over her face, and let me feel the position of her tongue and lips when she made a sound. I was eager to imitate every motion and in an hour had learned six elements of speech: M,P,A,S,T,I. Miss Fuller gave me eleven lessons in all. I shall never forget the surprise and delight I felt when I uttered my first connected sentence, “It is warm.” True, they were broken and stammering syllabus; but they were human speech. My soul, conscious of new strength, came out of bondage, and was reaching through those broken symbols of speech to all knowledge and all faith. No deaf child who has earnestly tried to speak the words which he has never heard- to come out of the prison of silence, no tone of love, no song of bird, no strain of music ever pierces the stillness- can forget the thrill of surprise, the joy of discovery which came over him when he uttered his first word. Only such a one can appreciate the eagerness with which I talked to my toys, to stones, trees, birds and dumb animals, or the delight I felt when at my call, Mildred ran to me or my dogs obeyed my commands. It is an unspeakable boon to me to be able to speak in winged words that need no interpretation. As I talked, happy thoughts fluttered up out of my words that might perhaps have struggled in vain to escape my fingers.”- From “The Story of my Life” by Helen Keller- Bantam Dell
Most of my decisions are made in an impulsive fashion, mainly because I have made most of my decisions before. When you work at a job that is cyclical (having a start term every 5-8 weeks), you tend to come across similar challenges and thus have a reference point in making decisions. I don’t waste any time and need to keep on moving. The drawback is that this quick thinking and rhythm can cause tension in the body, energy depletion as well as stifle creativity and freedom. Learning to slow down my thinking is essential to cultivating intuition.
When I was in graduate school studying to be an actor, I was teaching Oral Interpretation of Literature. I had a student with a pronounced stuttering problem and I was unsure whether I could help him. The assignment was William Shakespeare’s Sonnet #18:
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance, or nature's changing course untrimmed.
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st;
Nor shall death brag thou wand'rest in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
It was quickly apparent that this student was not able to get through the first sentence without stuttering and was getting frustrated in front of the class. I have no experience in Speech Pathology so consciously I had no idea how to help him. I decided to listen to my intuition and try some "out of the box" coaching. Something told me that his speech impediment was stemming from the speed of his thinking and a connection to his breathing pattern.
“I’m going to ask you to connect each word with an image in your mind. Don’t tell me what the image is just let it come to mind and sit with it. Let’s take the word “shall”. When you have the image clear in your mind, take a deep breath and exhale saying “shall”. He did. “Now let’s do the same with the word “I”. “What does “I” mean to you? Now take a deep breath and exhale saying “I”. No problem. We went on in similar fashion with every word in the first sentence. “Shall”, “I”, ‘Compare”, “thee”, “to”, “a”, “summer's”, “day”. Then we stringed the sentence together in one breath. No stuttering! The class applauded. His eyes lit up.
“We are going to spend the rest of the class slowing down your thinking and breathing, drinking in each word with the meaning that resonates with you. With your experiences.” At the end of the class, he went through the whole Sonnet without stuttering once. He had never done that before and it brought tears to this 18 year-old’s eyes.
Being conscious of our breathing patterns as we move from thought to thought is a great way to allow room for intuition to enter. The simple act of breath awareness slows our thinking and it is in the space between thoughts that higher wisdom reveals itself to us. Suddenly a thought appears that just “feels” right. It has no tension or fear associated with it. It comes from a deeper place. Some have called this place “the gut” and you possess a sense of certainty that there is truth behind the thought.
I have found that asking myself throughout the day “how am I breathing?” automatically changes my rhythm. It is the same principle found in Quantum Physics: The act of observation, changes that which is being observed.
You don’t have to force a slowing down process, just become aware of the breath. Your body knows what to do next.
If you cannot think of one magic moment that happened today in which you connected with another human being, then you might be breathing, moving and thinking too fast. Not to worry though. You can always slow down before going to bed or when taking the dog for a walk. Noticing after the fact is the next best thing. The moment is waiting for us to catch up to it or we just need to slow down enough to let it catch up with us.
I’d like to end with a great story about the moment everything changed for Helen Keller who was deaf and blind. Can you notice how much she slows down her thinking and makes room for the experience of happiness?
“Miss Fuller’s method was this: she passed my hand lightly over her face, and let me feel the position of her tongue and lips when she made a sound. I was eager to imitate every motion and in an hour had learned six elements of speech: M,P,A,S,T,I. Miss Fuller gave me eleven lessons in all. I shall never forget the surprise and delight I felt when I uttered my first connected sentence, “It is warm.” True, they were broken and stammering syllabus; but they were human speech. My soul, conscious of new strength, came out of bondage, and was reaching through those broken symbols of speech to all knowledge and all faith. No deaf child who has earnestly tried to speak the words which he has never heard- to come out of the prison of silence, no tone of love, no song of bird, no strain of music ever pierces the stillness- can forget the thrill of surprise, the joy of discovery which came over him when he uttered his first word. Only such a one can appreciate the eagerness with which I talked to my toys, to stones, trees, birds and dumb animals, or the delight I felt when at my call, Mildred ran to me or my dogs obeyed my commands. It is an unspeakable boon to me to be able to speak in winged words that need no interpretation. As I talked, happy thoughts fluttered up out of my words that might perhaps have struggled in vain to escape my fingers.”- From “The Story of my Life” by Helen Keller- Bantam Dell
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Countdown to The Superman Effect- 17 days
Can you do anything to prepare for the moment when everything changes?
My favorite part of being an actor was spending hours perfecting a complex movement. The mind and body was engaged, practicing in slow motion its mechanics so that my body would learn consciously every necessary step. A cue from the outside would initiate the movement and then an internal firing of neurons and muscle contractions would carry out it execution. Practice begins sloppy and general. Practice ends crisp and specific. There was a triangular marriage between the emotional, mental and the physical. You did not know which would come first. Are you aware of feeling and then moving or of moving and then feeling? When the mind and body act simultaneously, there is a deep impression on whole body memory. Once this re-wiring or conditioning takes place, the movement becomes second nature and can be perceived as instinctual. You feel like you are moved rather than doing the moving. When movement is learned at this level, then it becomes effortless and spontaneous.
So much preparation is necessary to create an effortless moment. This process of preparation applies to artists as well as scientist. A writer spends their life reading, experiencing, contemplating and experimenting before they are ready to effortlessly write. A scientist spends their life reading, experiencing, contemplating and experimenting before they are ready to prove a hypothesis. The process is the same. We are preparing for the moment all the time. The stuff of our life is our preparation. As Ram Dass likes to say when quoting Gandhi: “Our life is our message”.
I have spent my life reading books on personal transformation, experiencing the subtleties of energy flow, contemplating the stars and universal thoughts, and experimenting with roles, masks, and keys to unlock doors of happiness, wondering is there something more. Nothing is in vain. All has been a preparation for the free flowing nature of the moment.
I have also spent most of my life believing that I am on the wrong track, not doing what I “should” be doing. I now realize that every moment I have lived was a preparation for this moment. None of it was a mistake. The moments of complete boredom, fury, depression, and disappointments all initiated internal processes that have brought me to my current state of balance and flow not possible without the experience of past discomfort.
I just got back from a professional networking event at a Sushi restaurant where 300+ Hispanics mingled and schmoozed to sushi and drinks. I was in my element, effortlessly working the room and charming the attendees into getting information about going back to school for an MBA. Eight years at the university doing what I do, day in and day out made the night effortless. I did not have to construct a plan on how to network. Life was my training manual. Eight years ago my networking skills were sloppy and general, now they are crisp and specific. I am finding that I can move from a place of least effort regardless of whether I work at the university or write. That’s a huge shift.
So if you ever find yourself asking “what can I do that is unique and special?” Just look at the stuff of your everyday life. You have already done all the preparation to live out this moment. There is nothing else you need to do.
“This above all, to your own self be true”- William Shakespeare
My favorite part of being an actor was spending hours perfecting a complex movement. The mind and body was engaged, practicing in slow motion its mechanics so that my body would learn consciously every necessary step. A cue from the outside would initiate the movement and then an internal firing of neurons and muscle contractions would carry out it execution. Practice begins sloppy and general. Practice ends crisp and specific. There was a triangular marriage between the emotional, mental and the physical. You did not know which would come first. Are you aware of feeling and then moving or of moving and then feeling? When the mind and body act simultaneously, there is a deep impression on whole body memory. Once this re-wiring or conditioning takes place, the movement becomes second nature and can be perceived as instinctual. You feel like you are moved rather than doing the moving. When movement is learned at this level, then it becomes effortless and spontaneous.
So much preparation is necessary to create an effortless moment. This process of preparation applies to artists as well as scientist. A writer spends their life reading, experiencing, contemplating and experimenting before they are ready to effortlessly write. A scientist spends their life reading, experiencing, contemplating and experimenting before they are ready to prove a hypothesis. The process is the same. We are preparing for the moment all the time. The stuff of our life is our preparation. As Ram Dass likes to say when quoting Gandhi: “Our life is our message”.
I have spent my life reading books on personal transformation, experiencing the subtleties of energy flow, contemplating the stars and universal thoughts, and experimenting with roles, masks, and keys to unlock doors of happiness, wondering is there something more. Nothing is in vain. All has been a preparation for the free flowing nature of the moment.
I have also spent most of my life believing that I am on the wrong track, not doing what I “should” be doing. I now realize that every moment I have lived was a preparation for this moment. None of it was a mistake. The moments of complete boredom, fury, depression, and disappointments all initiated internal processes that have brought me to my current state of balance and flow not possible without the experience of past discomfort.
I just got back from a professional networking event at a Sushi restaurant where 300+ Hispanics mingled and schmoozed to sushi and drinks. I was in my element, effortlessly working the room and charming the attendees into getting information about going back to school for an MBA. Eight years at the university doing what I do, day in and day out made the night effortless. I did not have to construct a plan on how to network. Life was my training manual. Eight years ago my networking skills were sloppy and general, now they are crisp and specific. I am finding that I can move from a place of least effort regardless of whether I work at the university or write. That’s a huge shift.
So if you ever find yourself asking “what can I do that is unique and special?” Just look at the stuff of your everyday life. You have already done all the preparation to live out this moment. There is nothing else you need to do.
“This above all, to your own self be true”- William Shakespeare
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Countdown to The Superman Effect- 18 days
Do you believe in angels? Are there forces working behind the scenes to help us get what we need to live a more purpose-filled life? 18 days before resignation day I have a strong sense that forces are working over-time to help me manifest my dreams. These forces include deceased loved ones, angels, shamans and guides. I know none of this can be proven nor do I feel like I consciously need to know. The key is to stay open to the extra-ordinary in seemingly ordinary moments. I believe this is what it means to be on the conscious path; noticing, becoming aware, being awakened. I am noticing more and more when energy shifts in a room, or when a call for assistance that sounds to most like a normal request is actually a cry for help. Such a call came from a co-worker today.
The 42 year old man who has three daughters and was in an intensive care unit a few weeks ago was just sent home to die. My daughter has been including him in her nightly prayers for two years now (every day-without exception) and it seems like this last battle will bring him home. I will be spending time connecting with his higher self in the days to come and I know he is ready. Is his family ready? I have only met him twice in the past two years. The first time was when I received the request to join a prayer group for him when he was first diagnosed. He had a very healthy lifestyle and was a loving father and husband. He had a strong faith and did not take life too seriously. So why did he develop cancer? It made no sense. As soon as I saw the email request from his aunt, my co-worker, I immediately said yes. I have never joined a prayer group before and I did not know this man but that did not matter. I was being moved by unseen forces. The weekly prayers in front of a grotto at the university lasted months. This is when my eldest daughter began to regularly say at bedtime: “God, please help him get better and let me have great dreams and great thoughts. Amen.”
The second time was at a wedding a year later. He had gone into remission and was doing great. We spoke of the power of positive thinking to overcome impossible odds. He is a model for all fathers. A few weeks ago I heard he had been hospitalized with multiple blood clots and an extremely low white blood cell count. While I was in my nine day period of prayer, it was made clear that his time had not yet come. The prayers for the dying were not for him. Now I am being told that the two year battle with cancer may be coming to an end. I promised my co-worker that I will spend time in his honor. I don’t know if his three daughters will have their daddy for the holidays.
I know at times it is easier to believe that events in our lives are random and there is no order to them. This helps us deal with tragedies and uncertainties in life. I choose to believe that there is an appointed time for everything. Just like our bodies have a perfect wisdom and timing for breathing, digestion, blood flow, healing and a host of other visceral functions, we live in a universe that if observed from a wide enough prospective, reveals an intricate order. This order is designed to bring balance to the whole. To the naked eye, it seems unfair, incomplete, tragic and chaotic. If you want a glimpse of this order, first believe that it exists.
Recently I saw an independent film called Ink. It is about good and evil forces infiltrating our sleep to change the trajectory of our lives. Sounds like a winner, I know. Truly, it is a good film that illustrates these unseen forces I write about. A scene in the movie is worth the price of admission. It depicts a spirit whose sole purpose is to alter the rhythm of life and set off a “chain reaction” that leads to events designed to bring redemption, forgiveness and balance. These events can take the shape of a crisis moment or a chance encounter that changes everything.
In the scene, an arrogant man who put his work above all else and lost custody of his daughter, must be interrupted by a car accident if he is to stop and see his daughter who is in a coma. A dollar bill blows in the wind, lands in front of a man in a wheelchair who stops for it and spills groceries. A can of soup rolls away and trips a woman who falls to the ground. The man next to her who is carrying a four foot long box gets turned around and the side of the box hits a man smoking a cigarette. The cigarette goes flying onto a wind shield of another woman’s car in motion. The woman activates her windshield wipers and sends the cigarette butt flying which hits a man in the face who drops some flowers. Another woman attempts to pick up the flowers. A boy sees the woman and thinks of helping but instead bumps into a pizza delivery guy who drops five pies of pizza. A car drives by and the man driving runs over a pizza carton while taking a sip of coffee. The coffee spills on his lap. He looks down and he runs a red light. At the exact moment, the arrogant man who refuses to see his daughter who is in a coma drives by and is hit by the car. He is taken to the same hospital that his daughter is in. Redemption is now possible.
“The downward spiral is essentially a chain reaction. They’re all reactions. One thing begets the next. A man has a weakness, he’s flawed. That flaw leads him to guilt. The guilt leads him to shame. The shame he compensates with pride and vanity. And when pride fails, despair takes over and they all lead to his destruction. What will become his fate? Something’s got to stop the flow.”- Ink
I continue to think about the line from the Alchemist: The whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true.”
If we only knew how much is going on behind the scenes, it would be much easier to trust. If we are willing to search for meaning in suffering, we will find it. This search for meaning in suffering is what I am after when I say that I am connecting with the higher self of the 42 year old man. This is my work. At least for tonight.
“Nothing is more likely to help a person overcome or endure than the consciousness of having a task in life- Victor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
The 42 year old man who has three daughters and was in an intensive care unit a few weeks ago was just sent home to die. My daughter has been including him in her nightly prayers for two years now (every day-without exception) and it seems like this last battle will bring him home. I will be spending time connecting with his higher self in the days to come and I know he is ready. Is his family ready? I have only met him twice in the past two years. The first time was when I received the request to join a prayer group for him when he was first diagnosed. He had a very healthy lifestyle and was a loving father and husband. He had a strong faith and did not take life too seriously. So why did he develop cancer? It made no sense. As soon as I saw the email request from his aunt, my co-worker, I immediately said yes. I have never joined a prayer group before and I did not know this man but that did not matter. I was being moved by unseen forces. The weekly prayers in front of a grotto at the university lasted months. This is when my eldest daughter began to regularly say at bedtime: “God, please help him get better and let me have great dreams and great thoughts. Amen.”
The second time was at a wedding a year later. He had gone into remission and was doing great. We spoke of the power of positive thinking to overcome impossible odds. He is a model for all fathers. A few weeks ago I heard he had been hospitalized with multiple blood clots and an extremely low white blood cell count. While I was in my nine day period of prayer, it was made clear that his time had not yet come. The prayers for the dying were not for him. Now I am being told that the two year battle with cancer may be coming to an end. I promised my co-worker that I will spend time in his honor. I don’t know if his three daughters will have their daddy for the holidays.
I know at times it is easier to believe that events in our lives are random and there is no order to them. This helps us deal with tragedies and uncertainties in life. I choose to believe that there is an appointed time for everything. Just like our bodies have a perfect wisdom and timing for breathing, digestion, blood flow, healing and a host of other visceral functions, we live in a universe that if observed from a wide enough prospective, reveals an intricate order. This order is designed to bring balance to the whole. To the naked eye, it seems unfair, incomplete, tragic and chaotic. If you want a glimpse of this order, first believe that it exists.
Recently I saw an independent film called Ink. It is about good and evil forces infiltrating our sleep to change the trajectory of our lives. Sounds like a winner, I know. Truly, it is a good film that illustrates these unseen forces I write about. A scene in the movie is worth the price of admission. It depicts a spirit whose sole purpose is to alter the rhythm of life and set off a “chain reaction” that leads to events designed to bring redemption, forgiveness and balance. These events can take the shape of a crisis moment or a chance encounter that changes everything.
In the scene, an arrogant man who put his work above all else and lost custody of his daughter, must be interrupted by a car accident if he is to stop and see his daughter who is in a coma. A dollar bill blows in the wind, lands in front of a man in a wheelchair who stops for it and spills groceries. A can of soup rolls away and trips a woman who falls to the ground. The man next to her who is carrying a four foot long box gets turned around and the side of the box hits a man smoking a cigarette. The cigarette goes flying onto a wind shield of another woman’s car in motion. The woman activates her windshield wipers and sends the cigarette butt flying which hits a man in the face who drops some flowers. Another woman attempts to pick up the flowers. A boy sees the woman and thinks of helping but instead bumps into a pizza delivery guy who drops five pies of pizza. A car drives by and the man driving runs over a pizza carton while taking a sip of coffee. The coffee spills on his lap. He looks down and he runs a red light. At the exact moment, the arrogant man who refuses to see his daughter who is in a coma drives by and is hit by the car. He is taken to the same hospital that his daughter is in. Redemption is now possible.
“The downward spiral is essentially a chain reaction. They’re all reactions. One thing begets the next. A man has a weakness, he’s flawed. That flaw leads him to guilt. The guilt leads him to shame. The shame he compensates with pride and vanity. And when pride fails, despair takes over and they all lead to his destruction. What will become his fate? Something’s got to stop the flow.”- Ink
I continue to think about the line from the Alchemist: The whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true.”
If we only knew how much is going on behind the scenes, it would be much easier to trust. If we are willing to search for meaning in suffering, we will find it. This search for meaning in suffering is what I am after when I say that I am connecting with the higher self of the 42 year old man. This is my work. At least for tonight.
“Nothing is more likely to help a person overcome or endure than the consciousness of having a task in life- Victor Frankl, Man’s Search for Meaning
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Countdown to The Superman Effect- 19 days
A co-worker stopped by my office today and asked me: “If you could have dinner with two people. One who is no longer with us and one who is, who would it be?
Two months ago, I received a call from my partner at work at around 5:30pm. She called to let me know that she had just found out her father had a heart attack and passed suddenly. The tragic nature of the news was compounded by the fact that her mother is in a nursing home and has been for the past four years following a stroke. I expressed my condolences and let her know that I am here for her if she needs anything.
I had been receiving so much intuition about so many, why did I not see this one coming? If only I could have had a sign that his health was in danger, I would have said something. Perhaps.
Perhaps because I had already started research for The Superman Effect, the first thought I had after getting off the phone with my partner was what the young Clark Kent said to his mother soon after his father died of a similar heart attack:
“All these powers and I could not even save him”.
I did not verbalize this thought to her or to anyone. I don’t presume to have any powers that save. It was curious however that these were my thoughts as yet another alignment between my dream and reality.
The amount of strength that my partner exhibited during these past few months is awe-inspiring. She had to take care of all funeral and burial arrangements while caring for her mother and coordinating an emptying of a home 50 years in the making in Greeley, CO as well as one of her own in Denver. She is an inspiration to me and to all we work with.
Saying goodbye at work will be the hardest thing I have ever done. Those I work with are as much a part of my family as those I come home to. I find myself cheering them on and watching them light up when we interact. I feel like I am in a state of flow at work where everyone supports my decisions. Leaving is no longer about feeling dissatisfied. It's just time to go.
I received a call from a faculty member today with no other question but “how are you doing?” Another faculty member in response to a prospective student’s email wrote:
“Our marketing director and a good friend of mine, who just got his MBA here, would be another really good source. His name is Dennis Rodriguez and his number is..”
I have developed deep and fruitful friendships with so many at the university. I have not been able to take a peek at the future and see how I will say goodbye but I know my work will be done there very soon. The moment I say goodbye will arrive. In the meantime, it’s the moments in between that I am attempting to give breadth to.
My answer to my co-worker’s inquiry about who would I have dinner with was cute and achieved its desired outcome: to make him feel good.
I said to my co-worker (who happened to be Jewish) “If I could only have dinner with two people, one who is no longer with us and one who is, I would choose Jesus and you.” “Great answer!” he says.
It paled in comparison to my partner’s answer when she was asked the question next.
She said “I would choose my Mom and Dad”.
I would pass on my dinner plans if she could only keep hers.
Two months ago, I received a call from my partner at work at around 5:30pm. She called to let me know that she had just found out her father had a heart attack and passed suddenly. The tragic nature of the news was compounded by the fact that her mother is in a nursing home and has been for the past four years following a stroke. I expressed my condolences and let her know that I am here for her if she needs anything.
I had been receiving so much intuition about so many, why did I not see this one coming? If only I could have had a sign that his health was in danger, I would have said something. Perhaps.
Perhaps because I had already started research for The Superman Effect, the first thought I had after getting off the phone with my partner was what the young Clark Kent said to his mother soon after his father died of a similar heart attack:
“All these powers and I could not even save him”.
I did not verbalize this thought to her or to anyone. I don’t presume to have any powers that save. It was curious however that these were my thoughts as yet another alignment between my dream and reality.
The amount of strength that my partner exhibited during these past few months is awe-inspiring. She had to take care of all funeral and burial arrangements while caring for her mother and coordinating an emptying of a home 50 years in the making in Greeley, CO as well as one of her own in Denver. She is an inspiration to me and to all we work with.
Saying goodbye at work will be the hardest thing I have ever done. Those I work with are as much a part of my family as those I come home to. I find myself cheering them on and watching them light up when we interact. I feel like I am in a state of flow at work where everyone supports my decisions. Leaving is no longer about feeling dissatisfied. It's just time to go.
I received a call from a faculty member today with no other question but “how are you doing?” Another faculty member in response to a prospective student’s email wrote:
“Our marketing director and a good friend of mine, who just got his MBA here, would be another really good source. His name is Dennis Rodriguez and his number is..”
I have developed deep and fruitful friendships with so many at the university. I have not been able to take a peek at the future and see how I will say goodbye but I know my work will be done there very soon. The moment I say goodbye will arrive. In the meantime, it’s the moments in between that I am attempting to give breadth to.
My answer to my co-worker’s inquiry about who would I have dinner with was cute and achieved its desired outcome: to make him feel good.
I said to my co-worker (who happened to be Jewish) “If I could only have dinner with two people, one who is no longer with us and one who is, I would choose Jesus and you.” “Great answer!” he says.
It paled in comparison to my partner’s answer when she was asked the question next.
She said “I would choose my Mom and Dad”.
I would pass on my dinner plans if she could only keep hers.
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