Eight days ago I wrote about beginning a nine day prayer journey that has in the past led to a death. I wrote:
“My co-worker’s nephew is in an intensive care unit. He has developed a blood infection two years after being diagnosed with cancer. After so many chemotherapy battles won, the outcome of this one feels uncertain. He is my age and also has three young daughters which makes me feel uniquely close to his plight. One of my assistant directors has received bad news about her health today. I don’t have the details but I don’t like the feeling I am getting. My sister’s father in law who was pronounced dead two weeks ago is in hospice care. No one expects it will be long. My wife’s grandfather is only ingesting ensure. No solid foods. At 94, his days are not many. My co-worker’s dad received news that there is no sign of brain activity in the area where there is atrophy. She is reaching out to me. Who do I focus on?”
As I wrote eight days ago, I have kept my promise to spend time in daily prayer even though I did not know who it was for. The past eight days have been incredible. I have felt the energy of my co-worker’s nephew as he guaranteed me that his time has not yet come. Like a child who had seen Santa Claus, I immediately told my co-worker. “He’s not ready to go. He is such strong guy.” “Did you have another premonition” she asked. “Something like that” I said. We went this weekend to a fundraiser in his honor and it was a sight to behold. So many people showed up to show their love for this 42 year old with three beautiful daughters. His family fed us all breakfast and Polish music was played all morning. My wife and I brought my own daughters to bask in the joy of the moment. My oldest daughter has been praying for him by name every night for the past two years. He has seen recovery after recovery and it looks like even with Stage 4 Cancer, he has at least one more in him. So at about day 4 of 9, I realized these prayers for the dying were not for him.
Last night I felt the familiar energy flow and saw in my minds eye a vision of an older woman who I knew as a child. She was a neighborhood homeless woman near the Bronx home where we lived for over 20 years. My mother used to have her over for dinner as often as she could. “Do you have rice?” she would ask my mother. I cannot begin to tell you how incredibly obvious the answer is in a Puerto Rican household. I would sit down with her and watch her eat. There was something so magical about having her visit. You knew she loved my mother and my mother in turn, treated her like one of the family. I knew she had died many years ago. I did not know why someone from the Bronx was visiting me. She did not say anything. She looked as destitute as I remembered her. I completed my seventh day of the Chaplet of Divine Mercy and went to sleep.
I woke up to an email from my sister this morning that her father in law had finally left this world at 3:30am. I now know why I was praying for the dying. Perhaps the connection to the homeless woman was geographical. My brother in law’s father died in the Bronx just like the woman who visited me last night. Who knows.
I want my brother in law to know that those that leave us behind can feel as close to us as when they were here. It is common to believe that they are watching us, but we are also watching them, searching for a rift in our perceptions of reality and yearning for a taste of heaven while on earth. Every time you take a moment to quiet the mind and raise your awareness to memories of those you love, they do the same. You meet between worlds.
My brother in law said to me today “I don’t know why, but I feel like there is something I need to do with my life. Something is missing. I don’t know what it is.” I told him a bit about this blog. My sister had not shared much as he was occupied with his father’s illness. In his vulnerable state, struggling with the shock of death, he said to me words that make my life worth living: He said to me “You know, I always feel good when I talk to you.” I love you too brother.
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