You have read some of my thoughts on why I am calling my first book “The Superman Effect.” But why “My Quest for the Moment When Everything Changes”? What is this moment I refer to and what does it mean for everything to change? What changes?
I had heard it said that if you want to find out what your passion is, look at the content of the books you read for mere pleasure. I realized that my book shelves were full of autobiographies depicting a chronological account of a person’s life and times or memoirs with more of a specific focus and context.
Perhaps because I was an actor and had teachers that would say “find the dramatic potential in every moment”, I always looked for that transformational event or turning point in a story where there was a clear before and after. After this “moment” a character’s personality was forever altered and decisions were deliberate. After this moment, a character felt different, had recognition of a higher calling and was perceived differently by others.
You find this moment clearly depicted in plays. Shakespeare wrote in this moment in almost every one of his plays. The banishment of Cordelia in King Lear, Hamlet’s vision of his father, Malvolio’s delusion after receiving Lady Olivia’s letter in Twelfth Night. The most dramatic accounts however, are those told by the person who experiences the moment. This is why for the past 15 years, I have collected many true life stories in the author’s own words.
For many years now, my outer circumstances have seemed picture perfect. I have a harmonious marriage, a stable job, healthy and happy children, loving friends, a home in a really nice and affluent neighborhood. Yet, I have always sensed dissatisfaction with my inner life and a pursuit for a positive life changing experience that takes me out of my ego traps and brings purpose and clarity to my life.
There are so many words in the English language that describe the moment: Epiphany, Awakening, Inspiration, Intuition, Metamorphosis, Realization, Actualization, Transformation, Revelation, and yes, I guess you can add Enlightenment. If a book had any of these words in its title, I was buying it. I have been endlessly searching and much of the insights that I have learned throughout the years have been born out of this quest. So why not write a book about it? Why not tell the world that this moment does not just come to a select few but to all of us and it does not always have to come out of crisis when we have sabotaged ourselves so much that we hit rock bottom. It can come because we have made a decision to be open to it, to look at the beauty and lawfulness in everyday life, to embrace all of life including our shadow side.
My shadow side: This is the side that I worked tirelessly to keep in the closet until just 30 days ago. It is the side that could never have just one drink, the side that was furious at his dead father for being so abusive and taking away his childhood, the side that was afraid of doing the same to his own kids. My shadow side is the side that judged people as incompetent, lazy, manipulative, and controlling as a projected image of my own insecurities. Embracing this side means kicking it out of the closet for the world to see as just an aspect, no less prominent that the better angel of my nature. Okay, so I get angry, am a glutton, lazy, manipulative and controlling at times. Who isn’t? It’s not all of me. It’s called being human. The harder I worked at denying or better yet, conquering these aspects of myself, the more they would rear their ugly heads and take over. Guilt would set in, which would lead to more self-destructing behavior and the crazy cycle would just continue. Guilt has never served me. By accepting that my shadow side is just passing through and will only stick around if I resist it, fear it or try to deny it, then I allow room for my heart to remain open and welcome in grace.
Back to the moment: It will come. We can’t help but grow and evolve so trust that around the corner things will become clearer. The fastest way to catch up to your moment is to keep dreaming and let go of fear. My vision is that this blog helps you see in your own life the best road map to let go of fear. When we let go of fear, then everything indeed changes. That is my hope.
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